The loafer...

Today I am a bum :) actually, a lot recently... I am living off my parents, I don't pay them rent (they don't want it luckily) and I haven't been to work since Wednesday! Actually... I will have have 6 days off work :o...that is incredible.
Well I comfort myself in that I deserved time off as I was ill, and I do have a job, all be in part time, and also I'm starting my degree in September... a fact that scares me shitless, so perhaps this last one isn't such a comfort. Why do I need to comfort myself about all this? Because I've been brought up to believe doing nothing is definetly bad BECAUSE:
-it is bad for your mental health, humans need task and reward, this is how we feel fulfilled and happy (however realising this makes it all seem a bit hollow, like we really are sims with need bars easily filled with, well any activity really... is there a cheat, a way to ingnore these needs, overide them with shitft+alt+c Maxmotives?).
-it is a sign of the person you are going to become, a person capable of a lot, but doing fuck all because they can get away with it under present (and i'm guessing coming) government, due to the amazing benefits loafers can get if they spin it right these days. A LAZY PERSON. A thief almost, stealing from fellow taxpayers, a parasite.

So yes, I feel uneasy when doing nothing, though at present there is nothing pressing to do.

I took the dog for a walk :) thats something. A lazy thief probably wouldn't do that?

If wow was real life and my druid hunter was me I'd have acheived a lot today.

There's a possibility...twilight soundtrack, i close my eyes and i'm hoovering the floor of costa coffee chelmsford, how can i help?

ahhhh Freedom of Choice

To me a smoke is a form of freedom. Smoking is generally recognised as a stupid thing to do (because: it smells, it is a vice and therefore a sign of weakness and it KILLS YOU.) and yet i do it anyway. I do it to piss off the people that constantly tell me to be the best i can be, when sometimes i just want to exist and be happy in the short term. In short I do it because it's stupid, and because i see a lot of stupidity around me, and i want a bit of it.

Also I am not going away to uni :). This may be seen by some people as cowardly, "OMG you're missing out on SO much." Well, i guess i am...but i also get less than half the debt, three more years with my family, which is still want to be a big part of, especially now some form of normality has returned, and a place to really really crash out at the end of each day. i think going away is an adventure, but i think it's one that would, for me, get old.

i am looking forward to cycling to uni and going to a lecture :) meeting new people, hopefully going out with them! tho perhaps commuting uni people don't socialise much, and i'm not really one for starting things... I'm also looking forward to overcoming hurdles. At the moment the idea of standing up in front of a class of children and teaching them something scares me a little. I can see it's something I'll be able to do, but still...AHHHHhhh... I like the one to one better, watching them use the skills you've taught them, that's cool. Also i want a uni hoodie. My boyfriend doesnt understand this, but it is a pointless ritual i am looking forward to :)

I have a lot to be happy about at the moment :) but perhaps i should leave it there and not boast (going to germany with my dad, going to menorca with my family, going to morroco with Becca and Em :D, starting uni, painting my room!)

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